Alignment
Onto the pursuit of alignment
When asked, people often say that their goal in life is to be happy. This is the infamous “pursuit of happiness”. Then I wonder: what will make you happy? How do you plan to get there? The answer often takes the form of a list, which often includes different types of acquisitions, such as: win the lottery so I don’t have to work anymore, buy my dream car, buy my dream house, and the list of material goods goes on and on.
Kids also love to collect; world cup players images, Silly Bandz, Pokémon cards, Beyblades… and then the fads pass, they lose interest, and it’s time for some other kind of collection. As we grow up, our childhood world cup images, Silly Bandz, Pokémon cards end up in the trash, and we replace them with bigger and more expensive fad items that clutter our closets; clothes, bags, shoes, sportswear and equipment, … We are initially excited about our new purchase, but as for kids, the excitement will fade, and the purchase will eventually suffer the same fate as the Pokémon cards. Can this brief exhilaration be called happiness?
Yet the dream often remains; that maybe, after winning the lottery and/or reaching the goal of retirement with enough money to live comfortably, we can then be happy. Unfortunately, there are no guarantees this will be the case. And are we going to wait until retirement, winning the lottery… to be happy? OK. Let’s imagine for a second that we retire. As with all novelties, the honeymoon period is likely to be ephemeral, and
retirement will then bring its share of unanticipated grievances; loss of
identity, routine, social contact, maybe health, purpose and meaning, contribution … Retirement may also bring unforeseen undesirable new feelings such as anxiety, solitude, and frustration, some of them being related to the loss of abilities that come with aging. And that is, if we are lucky enough to enjoy those years. I can’t help but remember one of my professors who talked about how many people leave us in that very first year right after retirement. And sadly, that was the case of one of my former bosses who passed away just a few months after ending his career. So, let’s face it, waiting for a specific time, or conditions to be happy makes no sense at all.
I believe we can learn to live in an emotional and mental state, that brings us more satisfaction, that is more fulfilling. We’ve all experienced times when things flow easily, flawlessly, as if “it was meant to be”, just as water running down a stream. Some call it “good luck”, a “miracle” or a “coincidence”. We’ve also all experienced other times or moments when everything seems to go against us. We hit about every obstacle there can be. Everything turns into a struggle as we painfully face roadblock after roadblock; “when it rains, it pours”. We also call it: “bad luck”, “debacle”, “destiny” or “a series of unfortunate events” as in Lemony Snicket’s kids’ books/series, in which Violet, Klaus and Sunny constantly wrestle through mishaps with their evil guardian Olaf.
In the first case scenario, we feel happy, empowered, confident, pump up: we did great! In the second case, however, we feel like the sky is falling onto our head, that things are coming out of nowhere to specifically hit us. We then attribute our bad luck to a thousand causes; “it was the fault of this and that”, rejecting any likelihood that our own responsibility may have been even ever so slightly engaged.
Synchronicity
Analytical psychologist, Carg Jung was the first to introduce, as early as the 1920’s the idea of “synchronicity”; it is defined as “occurrences of convergent events, or meaningful coincidences, for which there seems to be no apparent causal connection”. He went on to further develop it about 30 years later. Though always contested for its lack of scientific evidence, over time, this notion has made its way into common beliefs, and continues to be described and expanded by many authors. Some people might also find resonance of this concept with principles of oriental philosophies.
This “convergence of events” can be observed in many areas of life, big and small, and expand over different length of time. For example, as a former recreational tennis player, I have occasionally briefly experienced what tennis pros and other athletes call “being in the zone”; that’s when all the balls and points go in your favor. Of course, as with any physical activity, some days we feel better, and others not so good. But there is more to it. It’s about the swing, the technical skills, the coordination, the control of the mind, and how all of it converges. This is not a static state, on the contrary. It’s a flow, in other words, it is how, while in movement, the different aspects align themselves to lead us to the result we are seeking. And that is also how it works in life in general. Sometimes things flow right, and sometimes, despite having the right skills, knowledge, etc…, situations get stuck. We start over-analyzing what went wrong, and the more we try to control it all, the more everything seems to fall apart.
The Power of Alignment
Deepak Chopra talks about: “The power of alignment of the soul, the spirit and the source”. He adds that it is when we align ourselves with our source, that we can experience those everyday miracles.
Aligning ourselves is about entering the constant flow of life, balancing on the one hand our conscious mind, desires, activities and actions, while on the other hand, accepting to let ourselves be carried by things we don’t have control over, and let the universe do its part. Pursuing this balance is not so much a frantic chase to realize our dreams, but rather, the aspiration of fulfilling our purpose, which in the process itself may bring us joy, happiness and contentment..